


I Should Tell Him

by unreasonablestarkstan



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Irondad, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 09:47:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20598752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unreasonablestarkstan/pseuds/unreasonablestarkstan
Summary: Every time he drifts off, he sees Peter Parker turn to dust in his arms. He hears the pleas of a terrified child, his terrified child, begging not to go. It’s horrific, and if it doesn’t stop soon it’s going to drive him insane.---------When the team returns from killing Thanos (the first time), somebody has to be the one to tell Tony that the stones are gone.This story explores how Tony reacts when he finds out that there's no way of getting everyone (read: Peter Parker) back. A missing scene Endgame fic. Mostly just Irondad angst with some Steve & Tony friendship mending built in. Can be read as Stony if that's your cup of tea, but intended Gen.





	I Should Tell Him

Tony knows something is wrong before the door even opens. He can hear them arguing in hushed voices outside his room; they must think he’s asleep. He really should be asleep. His body needs the rest more than anything, but no matter how hard he tries he can’t sleep for more than a few hours at a time before the nightmares wake him up. Well, not _ nightmares _ . It’s one nightmare, playing over and over in his mind like a song stuck on repeat. Every time he drifts off, he sees Peter Parker turn to dust in his arms. He hears the pleas of a terrified child, _ his _ terrified child, begging not to go. It’s horrific, and if it doesn’t stop soon it’s going to drive him insane.

The muffled arguing coming from the hallway suddenly turns to silence. It’s uncomfortably quiet for a few moments. Tony can practically feel the tension seeping through the walls. Finally, he hears Steve’s voice cut through the silence.

“I’ll do it. I don’t care if he hates me right now. I should tell him.”

Tony doesn’t have time to process that before Steve walks into his room. He pretends to still be asleep, trying to delay the inevitable. He thinks Steve is going to tell him that someone didn’t make it on their mission to retrieve the infinity stones from Thanos. The thought of losing someone else after all of this is almost unbearable. 

Steve sits down in the chair next to the hospital bed and Tony hears him sigh. It’s a sad, exhausted sound that makes Tony’s heart contract painfully in his chest. It feels like forever before he speaks.

“Tony? Are you awake?”

Tony feels Steve’s hand on his shoulder and he instinctively shrugs it off. He opens his eyes and stares up at the ceiling, his composure hanging on by a thread.

“Just tell me, Rogers.”

Steve looks down at the floor, his brow furrowed.

“Tony, the stones are gone.” Cap was never one for sugar-coating.

It’s not at all what Tony expected to hear. He blinks a few times, confused and anxious, before finally turning to face Steve.

“The stones...what?”

“Thanos...he destroyed them. That’s what that energy burst was.” Steve looks up at Tony, and Tony notices how red his eyes are. “There’s nothing we can do. The stones are gone, we can’t get everybody back.”

Tony stares at him for a moment, his brain processing everything in slow motion. He can’t get over hearing Steve, who was usually so optimistic and determined, sound completely hopeless. Suddenly, the meaning of Steve’s words hit him like a ton of bricks. No stones. The only way they could possibly bring everyone back, destroyed. His last shred of hope is ripped out of his chest in an instant. He feels like he’s going to vomit.

“No…” he sounds so quiet, so desperate, so broken. He can hear his own heartbeat in his head, pounding like a drum. It’s getting hard to focus on anything else.

“I’m so sorry, Tony,” Steve says, as gently as possible, “if it helps at all, Thanos is dead. Thor chopped his head off.”

Tony doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter if Thanos is dead, that won’t help to reverse what he did. They’re not coming back. He’s overwhelmed by the thought, and suddenly he feels tears start to well up in his eyes. But he can’t cry in front of Steve. He can’t process all of this in front of Steve, especially after everything that’s happened between them. Before any tears can fall, Tony rips the IV out of his arm and pushes himself up out of bed. He ignores the terrible strain in his muscles and yanks open the door. Steve doesn’t try to stop him. 

He walks awkwardly down the hallway on shaky legs, wanting to get away from Steve and the rest of the team. He can hear Natasha’s voice calling out to him, but he ignores her and starts to move faster. With no idea where he’s going, he breaks into a feeble run. His body is screaming in protest and his vision is starting to go black around the edges, but he can’t bring himself to care. He just wants to run away. 

Tony’s mind is an incoherent jumble of thoughts as he stumbles down the hallway. It feels like his brain is about to explode But one thought starts to stick out through the haze: _ Peter. _Billions of people are gone for good, but somehow all that matters is that Peter Parker is dead and he’s never coming back. The tiny sliver of hope that maybe he could be brought back with the stones has been the only thing holding him together for the past few weeks, and now he has nothing left to latch onto. 

Without any warning, Tony’s legs give out beneath him and he collapses to the ground. His head his the floor with a nasty sound, but he manages to stay awake. He can feel warm blood dripping down from the corner of his temple, mixing with the tears on his face. The sound of Peter’s voice fills his head, just the words “I don’t want to go” over and over again, louder every time. 

“I’m so sorry, kid,” Tony whispers, unable to hear himself due to the endless stream of Peter’s voice playing in his head. He doesn’t try to get up, he just lays there, slumped on the cold ground. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that he’s being selfish. He knows that he should be thinking about the billions of lives lost on Earth, the countless lives lost across the Universe. But right now, he just cares about Peter. The kid, _ his _kid, who he swore he would protect above anything else.

_ If you died, I feel like that’s on me. _

He really meant that back then. Recalling those words sends another wave of pain and guilt through his heart. He should have done more. He should have seen Thanos coming, he should have come up with a better plan, he should have wrapped the world in a suit of armor like he always wanted to. 

A strong hand on his shoulder brings him back to reality. He looks up with bloodshot eyes and sees Steve kneeling next to him, his face sad but understanding. For some reason that Tony can’t quite place, the anger he had been holding against Steve melts away. It’s like he just doesn’t have the capacity for it anymore. Besides, after everything he’s lost, regaining a friend doesn’t sound so bad anymore.

“Let’s get you back to bed,” Steve says, helping Tony up off the ground. Tony surprises himself by not rejecting his help. He’s too tired for any more of that crap. He leans against Steve for support and they walk back to the room in silence, both of them knowing that nothing they could say would make the other feel better. But the unspoken knowledge that a fence had just been mended between them helps lift away a tiny bit of the pain. Not much, but enough to keep going. And maybe that’s all they need.

  
  
  
  



End file.
